Act one: The First Week

It has been one week since I arrived in Bern, Switzerland. I have decided to post on this blog once a week, as I am already keeping a journal. I can only write something twice that many times. Also, since this is a blog, I think I will structure this more for public consumption, although very few people actually have the address to my blog.

One of the first things to strike me when I touched down in Zurich airport was how small it was. I was tiny as far as I am concerned. The arrival area was smaller then toapayoh interchange.

Travelling alone as its problems, problems which in all my years of travelling I have never really thought about since well, I was never alone. Going to the toilet was a problem, since I was heavily burdened with 3 sets of luggage. That’s where the handicap toilet came in handy, I pushed my trolley into the handicapped toilet so that I can keep it in my sights.

As I was waiting for my mentor Anja to arrive, I realized that I would not have been able to make it back to my room without the help of another. My load was not only too heavy, but too cumbersome to manage single handedly.

So when I met Anja in Bern station, I was more then relieved to have found someone friendly to help me make it back to my room. Now on hindsight, after dragging my stuff all the way from the station back to my room, I really would not have been able to make it.

The next day, Mel came down to my level, she lived only one level above me, to see if I am still alive, and I am. That afternoon I went to meet Sze Wing’s mentor, Benjamin in Bern station. He was instrumental in our orientation of Bern and the University of Bern.

He aided us to the best of his ability, brought us around, helped us with the setting up of our bank accounts, getting our sim cards activated, getting the train concessions, cooked dinner at his place, made cheese fondue at our place, brought us to the resident permit office to get a resident permit, brought us to the carnival in Luzern, later on we will be going to the Bern Carnival as well.

Our orientation would have been a whole of different without him.

The rag tag group I tag along with includes, Mel, an economics major 3^rd year, Tanya and Sze Wing, two English Literature majors 3^rd year as well. There’s supposed to be one more, Terri, but she seems to have her own plans, that’s expected since she was here like 3 weeks ago. We are really new compared to her.

Stating every single thing I did here doesn’t make much sense as of now. So, I shall end my first entry quite casually. There are other issues I would like to talk about, such as the direct democracy of Switzerland, its xenophobia, the working poor, the transportation system. The speed, the population density amongst other things that I have discovered in my short time here, but not to worry, all in good time.

Wednesday – D day

This is it. The 10 of Feb, I have been mass uploading my posts. Hence the weird dates on my posts.

So, how did I spend my day? Morning breakfast with my mom, help dad clear newspaper, went to change money, duck rice for lunch, massive C&C4 gaming, return the cashflow game, and here I am now, waiting for time to pass. Dennis will be picking me up in a few hours time, 3 hours actually.

I am not expecting many people to send me off. Well, I never believed in sending people off. It is an outdated tradition in today’s globalized and connected world. With Skype, Facebook and msn, most of my friends wont even realize I m not in the country. I simply won’t be able to make it for 2 or 3 gatherings that’s all. Everyone is so busy these days, too busy to miss anyone. Well, maybe it’s just me?

How do I feel now? As of this moment, I am calm as a cucumber. What am I suppose to feel? My mind has such a control over my emotions that I can’t feel anything without me thinking that I am being silly. No fuss is required, all I need is to go silently, and I shall return silently.

I am pragmatic to say the least; emotions at times like this serve no practical function other then to hinder the smooth operation of my embarkation.

I shall go and have dinner with my mother now, and try for the last time in the next 6 months her awesome cooking. If anything I should miss, it would be her cooking.

My next entry will be from Bern, in my new abode for the next few months. Wish me luck and control over my rectum.

Vernon

Tuesday - Nothing

Things stopped moving today. Everything I needed to pack and prepare has been wrapped up over the last few days.

As it finalized and checked my stuff I was thinking of the futility of material possessions. All that I own in the bag I m packing, can be reduced to money. Give me enough money I can replace all of them. By mere virtue of that fact, they are meaningless.

Many of us, me included are on some kind of quest to acquire resources and material possessions. But we must know and realize that those are merely means to an end. What is your end? What is it that you are going after? Where are you headed and who are you trying to convince?

I wasn’t thinking much today, I was trying to get promoted in Command and Conquer 4.

Hence I shall end here. Tomorrow I will fly. How do I feel? Nothing actually, I guess I don’t know what is coming up, you can’t fear what you do not know… right? Or do people fear what they do not know? Or do people not fear what they mis understand? Oh wells, I do not know, why? That’s because I have not discovered my fear yet. Maybe I will find it when I am in Europe.

Vernon

Monday – Bike-Handing over day

Today is the beginning of a week which I will not see the end of in Singapore. I am leaving Singapore in a few days. Today I looked into my last piece of responsibility, my Honda NSR 150 SP, my bike. I went down to NTU for lunch, and then ensured my bike was spanking clean before handing it over to its caretaker, Xiao Ming. Honestly it was a slow day for me, everything slowed down to a crawl after Sunday. After my crazy 5 days of meeting people and doing stuff, today was very light indeed.

So what are my thoughts for the day? Friends I guess, I was thinking of how I would have never made it to where I am today if not for those around me. Those who would stretch out their hand and offer their help, and those who unwittingly helped me by being judgmental of me. The list goes on, and I need to elaborate on the topic of how important friends are.

When I first started out as a child, a kid at the kindergarten, there was only friends and not-friends. I can “don’t friend you” and “friend” you. Things might have not been easy, but it was simple to understand.

As we grow older, we learn of a new word, acquaintance. Suddenly, there was a different dimension to our social circle. And along came classmate, coursemate, army friend, batchmate, business partner, business associates, etc etc.

I have come to agree very much with this line I read somewhere; your network today will be your net worth tomorrow. I believe there is more then a grain of truth in that statement. It is even more meaningful to someone who is still young, surrounded by equally young friends. Each one of them bursting with potential, their future unrealized, with nothing to their names but their hopes and their dreams, the question is as their friend, can we see it?

Keep good company, for a Man is measured by the quality of the company he keeps. An almost sure way to gauge a man’s worth is by who calls him friend. There is an age old saying which I cannot help but include here, quality over quantity. However, I have learned recently that only from the quantity can we have a chance of meeting the few quality individuals who you will one day share your destiny with.

Don’t be too anxious to embrace everyone as your brother, know them first. Don’t look at how they fund their lifestyle but look at what motivate them, look at their dreams and where they put most of their efforts. If they are in sync with yours, or compliment yours, then you have a friend to keep. If not, then you will have what is commonly known as a “hi bye” friend. We can never have too many of those no?

Vernon

Saturday and Sunday Our Word

Saturday I attempted my IPPT, had lunch at Bugis followed by an advance family reunion dinner. The reason why my family pushed the dinner forward, was for my benefit since I am leaving before the actual commencement of the Lunar New Year.

Sunday was quite a tight day, went to the Air show with Kenneth, Ronald and Ilango. It was really a waste of time to be honest. In the evening, I watched my brother perform at the Esplanade, followed by dinner with Karen and company. As the final event to my 5 days of activities, I went to pass Pat some of my books. Why did I pass her my books expecting her not to read them? I have no idea honestly; I guess it’s about fulfilling one’s end of the deal.

This combined entry will be about fulfilling one’s end of the deal, or rather, his or her word.

When does a child become an adult? Physical condition aside, it is my personal benchmark for that threshold is when one has the ability to make promises and deliver them, both timely and in a concise fashion. Promises, or rather, it is one’s word that makes or breaks a person. I shall try to be as gender neutral as possible, please note that this applies to both male and female and if I were to use the male reference please note that I meant both genders.

A man is his word, like a samurai is his sword. Both must be hard and dependable, constant and firm. When two people get married, social etiquette demands a wedding. During this wedding they exchange vows. What are vows? They are more then just words, they are promises. They carry the weight of one’s entire life in a collection of syllabus. A promise that cannot be taken lightly, that is what a vow is to me.

But not everyone is fit to make vows, and not every vow that has been made was made by people fit to make vows. That is the reality, and that is the truth.

As person, one should only be allowed to make promises that one can keep. Making promises which one cannot keep merely does nothing more then devalue the Word of the individual. After leaving enough broken promises behind oneself, one will find that people no longer ‘trust’ him. Henceforth it will be most challenging for him to get anything done since his word is worthless and in turn he becomes worthless.

Of course, this does not happen overnight. It actually takes some time for people to over come the benefit of a doubt that they so readily bestow upon others. We are our habits, we are what we continuously do. If we are always honest with others, then we are honest people, and if we always help others then we are helpful people. If we are always lying and we are simply liars. It all starts somewhere, if there is a first time, then there will be a second time. One reputation is not build in a day, but it can be destroyed in day. The trust that we took years to build can be taken away in an act or a whisper.

Be conscious of what we promise, and deliver what we promise. That way we strengthen our word, our rights as an adult and more importantly as dependable elements in the lives of those we care most about.

Vernon

Thursday The Primary Drive

My activities today consisted of meeting Lauren in the afternoon followed by Japanese buffet in the evening followed by drinks at SMU’s Ice Cold Beer place.

There was one topic which was shared between my two meetings today, and that is Sex, or rather the hold of sex over all of us.

Lauren was telling me about her aspirations of becoming an air stewardess after her graduation this semester. But midway she told me about how she will not last long inside because of the heavy weight-age of supervisor appraisal and how they use it as a leverage to extract sexual favors from the stewardesses. Considering how she thinks that women are to be protected and she feels that somehow she can change the situation, she will not last long in there.

When I was with Simiao and company, the topic covered a few areas including the cost of education, food, and somehow involved some talk on the hold Sex have over us all.

Hence today’s topic will be about Sex. Not the pornographic type of course, but more of the Freud type. Freud believes that we humans have many drives or motivations to engage in any endeavor, but most of these drives are secondary. Such as hunger, thirst and the need for shelter or warmth, Freud argues that the primary drive instilled in humans is the drive for carnal satisfaction. That is also to say that the basic reason why we do anything at all within our lives is so that we basically get laid.

Think about it, why do we go to school? To get an education, most would answer? I am sure most people pursue education not because they have an insatiable thirst for knowledge and understanding of the operation of the world. To get a good job, to get a good salary, to get a good life, some would say. We can attribute this to the sub conscience drive to appear attractive by contemporary standards so that one would be able to attract a mate more easily, as they say, the better you market the easier you sell.

A simple thought experiment would help elucidate my point. Imagine all of us cannot have sex and the way our species reproduce is through age, like once you reach 30 everyone will get pregnant, and we are all sexless.

Simply put, entire industries would never have existed, the cosmetic industry, the match making industry, hell even the shoe industry would not have been so big. Would we have the motivation that we have today if the situation was as such? I reckon not.

Few of us like vegetables but most of like sweet stuff, ever wondered why our body was programmed this way? Greens are good for us and sweets are bad for us, why is it such that we have an attraction towards something detrimental to our health and impartiality towards something good for us?

Well, I have thought of it, and I actually found out why. During the early days of the human race, sugar was a rarity, something hard to find and even harder to extract from their source. Whereas vegetables were common and easily acquired, our body needed both sugar and vegetables. Hence, biologically humans developed a certain chemical release in the brain that would occur when one consume sugar, hence rewarding the person’s hard work in obtaining this rare nutrient. This “good feeling” is the motivation for the person to dig the ground or climb higher for rarer fruits; a reward for the trouble.

It happened this way because our body needed the sugar from fruits or what not, it was part of the body’s proper functioning.

Similarly, our race, the human race, needs to produce the next generation. As a species, part of its proper functioning is to produce the next generation, this function I might argue is the most important function, and everything else will be for nothing if the species cannot continue.

And as we all know, getting some one to mate with us is a very difficult task these day. Gone are the cave man days of bashing a female over the head and dragging her body home. Hence the ultimate good feeling is ascribed to the action of reproduction, and hence it goes hand in hand with humanity’s ultimate pursuit, Sex.

Friday – Day of firsts

Once again here is a list of activities for today. I had buffet lunch at Pu Tian, apparently it was some famous and well known place for Chinese food. It was my first time at that place, and I found the food to be tasty. The food itself was cheap food like tofu and some fish, but tasty nonetheless. I did some shopping alone today, got myself a X-Mini speakers and a webcam for my family so that they can see me when I am over in Bern. By the time everything was done up, I had to go for my evening event. Which was believe it or not, peranakan food at some dodgy restaurant along queen street, just like how I found Pui Tian to be serving tasty food, I also found that peranakan food can be quite tasty as well. After that was some errands to sort out before heading for the main event, Kumar’s stand up act at 3 monkeys. Which was really funny. I honestly had a fun time, it’s been a long time since some one else did the planning and booking and stuff like that.

So it has been a day of firsts for me. So at the end of the day I was thinking of… courage, the courage to try something new, the courage to first be lousy at something before becoming good instead of staying a non player all of one’s life.

I have been a pioneer in a few areas among my peers, in fact until this day I am still the only person in some of the fields. But I never let that bother me at all, I strongly believe that if you make your life choices in the same way, and considers the same factors as other people, odds are you will end up in the same place as other people. Normally, it wouldn’t be an issue except the fact that where most people end up at is a place I do not want to be in.

What we need is courage, to stand up against our friends and our fears. It is the easiest thing to give up, I would even be so bold as to say that we have a pre disposition to give up instead of trying harder or approaching the problem from a different direction.

We even need courage to stand up to ourselves, when the tiny voices in our heart tells us that we are not strong enough, or that we are not worthy of a certain type of life. As the catchphrase from Spiderman 3 so aptly put it, the greatest battle lies within, and it is there where the greatest amount of courage is needed.

Wednesday – Luck is up to us

When opportunity knocks, it better see something like this

Today my mundane activities included dropping off a cheque at the bank and meeting Dennis to hunt for his Oakeys, followed by drinks at breworkz with Meng Kit and his friends right before we headed for MUSE!

Blogging about my experience at a concert seems to me an utter waste of time. So I shall skip that.

So what are my thoughts for the day? Interestingly it's about seizing opportunities.

There is a phrase I picked up from a book describing luck. Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity. When the two contributing factors are not in tandem then “luck” as we would have it doesn’t happen.

When opportunity knocks on your door, and you lack the preparation to receive it, then opportunity will simply walk away. Spend all day preparing but opportunity doesn’t appear at your door, all would have been in vain. Or as we often call it, Bad Luck.

But can we really ascribe our lives to the whims and chance of something so arbitrary like opportunity or “luck”? I will admit that there is an arbitrary element, but we are not powerless against it. We can off set this random element with some effort on our part. The keywords here are effort and our part, not slacking and our sourcing efforts to others like our parents or boyfriends or girlfriends.

We cannot control opportunity, but we can increase the chances of it occurring. How? By taking chances with the people, investing your time, effort and energy in others, by helping others, by meeting people, by trying new things, going out of your comfort zone. But if one simply stays at home and feel curse that one doesn’t any opportunity to succeed, then I am afraid it’s one’s own fault. Opportunity favors the bold; he who is timid will have to take a back seat as those who are more motivated and driven take centre stage where opportunity can see them. Which of the two do you want to be?

Prior to taking centre stage, those who are motivated and driven must also be prepared to seize the opportunities that come along. When I say preparation include have the correct skill set. Different opportunities require different skill sets to capitalize upon. So one must be clear what one wants to achieve, and hence pursue the means to an end.

The effort required of us Students of Life are two fold. Firstly, we must equip ourselves with the relevant skill sets that would aid us in the pursuit of our hopes and dreams. We must take responsibility of our own learning, our own destiny. Secondly we must expose ourselves to the world outside our comfort zone, our normal orbit. Else how can we change our chances if we keep doing things the same way? This is what it means to me to take charge of one’s destiny, take things into our own hands, answer for your mistakes and reap the glory of your triumphs.

We can never have enough shots at success, so don’t be fussy when it comes to opportunity. Don’t ever think to yourself that other such opportunity might come along, thinking like that is a clear sign of out sourcing your responsibility of your destiny.

We all start at different points of our lives, hence the roads laid before us are both different both in difficulty and duration. But the basic ideas are the same, expand your scope in order to garner better exposure to opportunities, know one’s dreams in order to acquire the relevant skills sets and aid in the preparation process.

Some have it harder then others, which only mean one thing, some will have a sweeter taste of success then others.

Vernon

Tuesday - Reciprocity

In terms of events, today can be considered quite low key. Meet Kenneth in the afternoon to help him out with setting up MetaTrader. Following which he unfortunately was made to listen to me blabber on about myself once again. Sorry man.

After I was done, I helped my sister return her library book at toapayoh then rushed myself down to pick up a certain someone to SIM TMC. Where I did what I normally do at club meetings.

So my thoughts about today… will be about my sister and reciprocity.

Yes, I have a sister; she is 16 years old this year, born in the year 1993. A few years ago, due to certain circumstances I was inspired to begin reading. I started to write down in a special book all the titles of the books I read, who was the author and the start and end date of reading the book. I made a promise to myself that day, and my sister witnessed it. After seeing how serious I was at following through this endeavor, she also started to do the same. I am proud to say that today I have a sister who is an avid reader who potentially might over take me in terms of number of books read. She started out with books from my own personal library and slowly developed her own taste in books and started crafting her own set of books. Like me she doesn’t favor novels and fiction, which means most of the information she gets from the books she read are more useful.

The three books I helped her return are books on Accounting, Excel and Body Language. Those three books are part of her efforts to better prepare herself when he enters Ngee Ann Polytechnic; my previous school. She will be doing Business studies or Accounting I reckon. Her preemptive actions are a result of her desire to excel and to take responsibility for her own learning, of which I am proud of her.

When I was in the army, I was reading average a book a week. As time was tight for me when I was an 11B holder, I always made her return my books for me. Now that my sister is working as a packer in some roasted pork place, she is pressed for time and I take up the responsibility of returning her books for her.

My willingness to help her stems from many areas, such as the fact that I am her elder brother, she busy etc, etc. But one of the reasons was also because she did it for me so unquestioning 3 years ago. I was engaging in an act of reciprocity.

Reciprocity is a form of goodwill I reckon. When I help others, which I like to believe I always do, there is this little part of me that hope that one day should I need the equal amount of help from those I aided, they would step up to the task. But the world is not perfect and more often then not I am disappointed. But the poor rate of return does not faze me one bit. Because, if someone doesn’t initiate an act of reciprocity towards me when the situation is favorable for such, somehow it becomes an indictor of the level of potential investment one would pour into maintaining the relationship. If one person you know doesn’t believe or doesn’t even reciprocate the smallest of favors or kindness or even actions, then that person more often then not will not be a good capacitor for goodwill. More likely he or she is a bottomless bucket, or at best a manipulator. Again I must stress that is a general statement, every situation is different and one must apply discretion always, the above statement is merely a guide for your train of thoughts. The argument is not well made I admit but it is mere a weather vane for a person’s orientation towards others. The above are only my opinion, not fact.

Monday Parts of an Airplane

Pending Third Pic when we are all in Grad Gowns

Today is Monday, the first day of the week and officially 10 days before I leave Singapore for Bern. I can finally leave my house, and leave my house I did. I left my house for a farewell gathering by my Poly Friends. I brought them to Sofra in bugis for dinner then Zosfi in Little Indian for Drinks. Hence this entry will be about them.

I was scheduled to meet my friends from Ngee Ann Poly, yeah time really files it was 2003/04 when I met them. The cause of our friendship, this is a correct description, was the pure chance that we were in the same tutorial group. But that was only the spark; it wasn’t the fuel of our friendship.

Every one of us, when we were in polytechnic was driven and motivated to do well in school. Each of us contributed to a social support group for one another, as they say, the journey will feel easier and shorter when one is with good company. And good company they were. In my opinion, they were the very best my cohort good offer.

The truth is, in each of them I see a different quality that is not inherent to me. I do not know how they see me, but this is how I see them. They are like mirrors, reflecting who I am. When I speak to them, my words bound off them and I hear myself. Through them, I my self reflection became sharper and more concise. For the purpose of illustration, I will use Eric, I would hope and at the same time I know that he won’t mind. Eric is a Christian, not just any Christian; he is very active in church, a super Christian. He would give up so much of his time to serve the church sometimes I would wonder if he still has enough time for himself. But he is a very good example of self sacrifice, altruism. I will not list all that I have observed, but I shall talk about the impact on me. Putting others before oneself so selflessly is something I which have eluded me. But I try, and through Eric I know that it is possible, because he is doing it, and happy doing it. Which means that is it possible to be selfless.

For what other purpose did God give us strength if it’s not to protect the weak? Why would God bless me if not for me to use those blessings to bless others? If I have the gift of speech, then it is not to lie and deceive but to motivate and inspire. If I have the gift of knowledge, then it is not to abuse and dominate but to share and enlighten. We must be the bearer of light into dark places.

It was Eric from so many years ago which was the inspiration for the above. But how did he inspire me? All he did was to exist as a person, and all I did was to observe a good example. I learned not from what he did, but from how he lived, not from the words of his mouth but the thoughts of his mind and the emotions of his heart.

Eric is one of many inspirations I found within my humble circle of friends whom I was so blessed to have found when I was slacking around polytechnic. I mean every syllable when I say that I would have never made it where I am today if not for every single one of them. They were yolk which during crucial developmental phase of life; my late teens 17-20 years young, provided and displayed the qualities and examples which showed me not only what it means to be human but what it means to be a friend. Lessons which I still make reference to today at 24.

If a man is measured by the company he keeps, then I am the very best. Cheers.

Vernon

Sunday On the Verge of February

we cant always look in all directions

On the Sabbath the Lord rested, and so did I. It’s been a really long time since I spent two days in a row at home without leaving the house in any reasonable way. Listing every little thing I did today is would be simply mundane, instead why not read some of my thoughts for the day.

I was staring at my lava lamp this morning when I woke up; I switch it on every night when I sleep because it’s so hot that it warms my room and yes, I like my room warm, and my bed warm and my blanket warm. Watching the endless loop motion of the wax bob up and sink down. The wax would have some false sense of progress, the form of the wax changes, the wax if it could feel itself change would think that it is improving. But from my point of view, looking at the wax from my IKEA bed its feeble attempts at change look sad at best. Would the wax listen to me if I were to tell it that what it is doing will result in nothing worthwhile?

One of our greatest short coming is that we cannot see our forehead, or as the Greeks would say “the eye can’t see the eye”. Fundamentally, we all believe that we are doing the right things, making the right choices, doing what we think is best for ourselves and those who are important to us. But that is what we think, that is merely our opinion it is the furthest concept from fact. Believe it or not, we, mortal human beings can’t over all the angles, we can try, but we cant cover 100% of all possible trains of thoughts.

What we need is alternative perspective, established persons who with the best intentions at heart offering us their own point of view. But be wary of advice, the best intentions does not equate to the best advice, and good advice can only come from wisdom.

There are many ways one can obtain wisdom; one of them is through experience, or through “Life”. But, good and correct wisdom can only come when one has lived his life correctly, hence he will be in possession of good wisdom. Not coffee shop talk and vague instructions for success, not “common sense” or “logic”. Attributing the reason for a course of action to logic is a public display of ignorance as any creditable student of philosophy can tell you that there are many forms of logic and they are far from compatible with each other.

Here are some examples of bad advice:

“In stocks, to make money one must buy low and sell high” – Every time I hear anyone give any one else or God forbid me this advice I have to will myself not to slap him, why? Because saying something like that is akin to saying nothing and hence wasting everybody’s time. He should be telling me how to buy or sell, which to buy and sell or to watch, and at how much it’s worth at best or at its worst.

If the CEO of a listed company tells me 1 week before he liquidate his company and that I should sell off all my stock in that company… now that is good advice.

“Study hard”, now this is a classic example of bad advice. Study what? Study where? Study for how long? Study under who? What does “hard” mean, at the expense of your health, social skills, communication skills or the ability to be tactful? If I want to be a professor who is weakly, antisocial and live in an ivory condominium filled with books and a single seat sofa, I would take that advice.

“Get a good job”, now this is rubbish, one of the most outdated and out with the times advice ever. GET THIS INTO YOUR HEADS, NO SUCH THING EXIST. Next time ask me to marry an invisible pink unicorn.

Peace