Touch

As we grow up we touch less. When I was much younger, most afternoons after school it out I would fight with my peers behind the school stage, we touched, even thought it was fists and kicks. I had a line up partner, she was the shortest girl in my class and I was the shortest boy in my class. I was a late bloomer, in some ways I guess I still am. We had to hold hands and strangely I do not remember ever feeling awkward. Even during dance lessons, our bodies touched freely like sexless little people. Society’s spell on us children is still being channelled, it’s enchantment still incomplete.

As our socialization process ossify in our minds, our body parts and those of others become enchanted. We are told and taught explicitly and implicitly many reasons why we should not behave in this way or that. We over read gestures and under value intentions out of fear of misunderstanding, but can one really misunderstand affection or concern? Invisible barriers become erected between each other, soon before long even when the tip of my toe bump into her shin I apologize, as if I broke some part of her, as if I somehow injured her self-worth.

I guess that’s why we seek intimacy with another, I would like to believe that the desire for physical contact is both animal as well as human, or the dualism unnecessary? We seek to hug and kiss without reason, hold hands and embrace freely without needing to ask permission. I used to believe when people interlock fingers was nature's way to sync pulses of two people. To feel the heartbeat of another against our chest reminds us that we are not alone in this world and should we disappear we will be missed, is there anything else we could desire?